Wednesday, September 09, 2009

Use 2 Cats to Pull Attractive Women

Exhibit A of why Women I’m attracted to want nothing to do with me

When we were out in Cali recently, A&A told us about this sign they saw for a tacqueria in Mexico that read,

"Tacos, Y Mas Tacos."

Comedy Gold. Personally, I think that’s the best fucking restaurant name in the universe. Simple, direct, highly descriptive. "Tacos, Y Mas Tacos." That’s where we’re goin’, and that’s what we’re gonna get. All other tacquerias can just suckit.

So anyway, through constant repetition, this minor amusement boiled over into a full-fledged fixation, worse than having Kenny Loggins’ "Danger Zone" stuck in your head.* I’ve found myself saying it over and over again and laughing, always with the laughing. It’s brought joy back into my life, a joy that I thought I had stuffed into a shoebox and buried in a shallow grave in the yard I don’t have.

I discussed my fixation with M the other day, and after agreeing that it was pretty fucking great, he said something that sent molten coffee flooding through my sinus passages in a piping-hot tsunami of teh-funny:

"If i had two cats, I’d totally name them Tacos and Mas Tacos."

Holy fucking shit. Holy fucking shit!!! Is there anything hotter to hot hot single ladies than when a guy introduces them to his cats, and says "I’d like you to meet my kittens, Tacos, Y Mas Tacos"??? Booyah! Why, I’ll be neck deep in that ass! This makes total sense.

Naturally though, there’s a serious side to this debate: I already have two cats, cats with non-taco based names. Looks like they’re gonna have to take one for the team, since obviously I have to go throw them in the garbage and get two new cats.

This is so much bullshit.

*You now have "Danger Zone" stuck in your head. You’re welcome.